Why We Don’t Listen Better

Practical Book Review One James C. Petersen, D. Min. _________________ Presented to Rev. Mario Garcia, Jr. , Ph. D. , J. D. independence Baptist Theological Seminary Lynchburg, VA __________________ In Partial fulfillment Of the requirements for the course PACO 500 inception to Pastoral Counseling ________________________ By Odell Joiner November, 2011 Hey Petersen, James C. 2007. Why dont we listen amend? Communicating and connecting in relationships. Tigard, OR Petersen Publications. I observed that while other avoided grumpy people, all I had to do to minify their grump-factor was to ask questions and let them tell me their stories. .. I also found that by and by I paid enough attention to their personal and political tirades, they became centripetal to me too. (5) The above excerpt from Dr. Petersons keep, Why dont we listen better? could be consider as the premise or purpose for his writing. acquire how to listen, digest what the other person is articulating, putting yo urself in their shoes (understanding), and providing valu satisfactory input is his primary objective. At the very onset of Dr. Petersons book, he practice session an illustration that gains the attention of the perspective reader.He recall an early friendship, perchance one of his premiere encounters as a young pastor hash out a couple. As he explained, he had little to know experience in this arena just now he did have success. Dr. Peterson attri barelyes his success to creation able to listen, understand, and offer valuable insight. The perspective reader provide diagnose his contentment toward this book by his claims of occasionally revisiting his book as root word of knowledge, and that he wants the perspective reader to utilize the book as a guide (handbook) instead of a regular book on study matter relating to chat.Dr. Peterson sets the foundations (according to his beliefs) for effective colloquy and interaction with others at the beginning of the book and u tilizes these foundations as a sort of skeletal frame prepare for the remaining of his practice Part One The Introduction of Dr. Petersons Flat-Brain guess (8) Part Two The use of the Talker-Listener Card (8) Part Three Basic Listening Techniques (8) Part quadruplet and Five Extended Examples using the Talker-Listening Process (8) Flat-Brain guess The Flat- Brain Theory (according to Dr.Peterson) takes into consideration the human body as contributing factors in the communication serve well the stomach, the burden and the head. The stomach is attributed as the location of feelings. Healthy heart functions give and receive concerns (12) The heart put incessantlyything together and the options and possibilities. (12) And finally, the head functions as the source for rationalization of information. Talker-Listening Process The Talker-Listening Process establishes the roles in the communication process.The vocaliser is attributed as the owner of the problem and the listener ro le is understand and pull up stakes the talker to share their feelings and thoughts. Additionally, Dr. Peterson provides Talker-Listener Cards (TLC) which draughts and reminds each other (talker and listener) of their responsibilities within the communication process. After the foundations of Flat-Brain Theory and the Talker- Listener Process is established and thoroughly explained, Dr. Peterson shifts gears into a more practical communication methods.Dr. Peterson provides insightful guides and suggestions for the reader to employ in their effective communication practices. The perspective reader gauge and use the methods outline in his book to develop their own effective communication strategies and concepts regarding direction others. You After reading Dr. Petersons work, I was amazed and drawn to his work. I was able to enjoy his work not just as an assignment for this course, but a useful tool for future study and a program line premise.Reading his work brought an understand ing that in communication and interaction that if sight early (in my opinion) could benefit many marriages, and other relationships. As I ponder on my personal experience, I think about the earlier eld of my marriage. I could identify with Dr. Petersons example in Chapter 3 regarding Jack and Jill. The altogether difference was that I thought if my wife would just listen to me first and then I would undoubtedly solve any problem should would ever face. After all Im smart Im a good judge of reputation I know how to interact and handle people and if need be I john be very assertive. A few wretched years ago, my wife and I were visiting whatsoever of her relatives. Before we arrived, I made her agree that we would head back from her relative a true m. However, I really did not consider her feelings regarding my strict timeline. During the visit, I would drill to my wife about our agreed itinerary. It did not dawn on me that I had bullied her into this agreement. After a wee k after the visit, my wife explained her feelings concerning our agreement and how I did not take into account her feelings. She claimed that I was using double-standards.At the time, I thought that my wife was just complaining and not being realistic. only reflecting upon this book, and reflecting on previous episodes regarding my communication with my wife, I could have use this book. I failed to put myself in my wife position and could have seriously injure our relationship. Look The work of Dr. Peterson highlights the importance of effective communication. Early in my lifespan I thought that getting demo across was the close to all-important(prenominal) principle concerning communication. In using the concepts outlined in this book, I would evaluate myself as fallen prey to the Flat-Brain Theory.The relevance of Dr. Peterson work is that it correlates Kollars and Hawkins work. to each one illuminates the importance of the perspective counselor first understanding themselv es such as knowing their strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies. Before a perspective counselor can hang others, he/she must address their own personal egocentricities. A legitimate question that could accompany Dr. Petersons work would be Based upon your understanding of the Flat-Brain Theory, do you find yourself in this particular category? If so, what are some practical approaches you could take to remedy the Flat-Brain Theory? Understanding each parcel of the Flat-Brain Theory assist in my understanding of in identifying potential prohibiting factors of communication. If I can identify the condition of my stomach (feels/emotions), my heart (processing of information) and my head (logical) , I can readily identify the condition of others that I may assist. The most impressive aspect of Dr. Petersons work is that he claims that he often propagation refers to it.Based upon this, one is lead to cerebrate that counseling is not an worn out(p) field. The pastoral counselor must take it upon himself to constantly be in a state of learning. If the counselor allows complacency set in then he loses his effectiveness. Do After reading Dr. Petersons book, I feel encourage and inspired to examine my own feelings and logic. I quickly realize that I must treat every potential counseling occasion as fresh and unique. I cannot enter in to any counseling session with preconceived ideas or emotions. Each person is unique so their position must be unique.In my own relationship, I learned from Dr. Petersons work is that I should not think for others. Allowing others to communicate and I listen without move to talk for them will assist in strengthening my personal relationships. all by being a good listener can I become more understanding. The 7Gift/DISC profiler identified several characteristics that I believe to be true about my personality. Such characteristics as determined and specific oriented. Although this can be good in certain aspects but it can leave thos e that I interact with a sense that I can be very demanding or intimidating.Understanding how I portray myself to others is fine to being a counselor. As I reflect upon my Relational air Action Plan, Dr. Petersons Talker-Lister Process applies. The TLC provide simple but valuable guidelines to facilitate the communication process. One of my struggles in the communication process has been that I would look for indicators in the process. I would sometime assume incorrectly what they were trying to portray. The TLC will assist in articulating correctly the point that the talker is communicating.One significant point that Dr. Peterson communicates in his work is that from time to time he refers to the book. If had a fellow counselor, that was experiencing challenges in communication, I would credit rating first Dr. Peterson acknowledgement that he is life-long learner, encourage them to try new techniques and methods, and possibly do some self assessment tools to assess himself. Wi th that in mind, my observatory is that the counselor must be available to learn and perfect their craft. bleakness is necessary not only for the counselee but also for the counselor.